The Stress of Destressing

My family recently went to the updated Body Worlds exhibit at the Franklin Institute. They described how the show has changed since it debuted 20 years ago. The controversy around displaying human bodies remained, but there was a new emphasis on caring for these human bodies (outside of plastinting and putting them on display). Particular emphasis was put on managing the detrimental effects of stress. 

On the one hand, great. Stress is bad. Stress kills. Stress less. Just go stress less. Right? Wait. 

Have you clocked consensus reality lately? We’ve all been brainwashed to equate stress with correct human behavior. If you’re relaxed, you’re a slacker, like the Dude or Bill and Ted. Part of the American Dream requires giving yourself ulcers and heart attacks in pursuit of financial betterment. We expect that. When someone asks you how you’re doing after, say, a major loss, you’re supposed to say, “Keeping busy.” You never say, “On my couch, sleeping and processing.” Why is that?

I’m hung up on the contradictory messaging at play right now: work hard, earn all the money, win at capitalism. But while you’re doing all of that, don’t stress. If you stress yourself into a heart attack (and maybe a plastinated museum display, since it’s not clear where those bodies come from), it’s no one’s fault but your own. Sucker move! How embarrassing. 

Am I the only one who feels stress over how much I’m stressing? I’m ready to buy anything that claims to help minimize stress–from cruises to coloring books. And yet, I’m not sure where I’m supposed to find the time to do all that journaling and meditation. When I Google the experts, they say, “If it’s important to you, you will find the time.” Like, what kind of asshole am I for feeling pressure to prioritize earning a living and putting food on the table?

For a lot of people, stress reduction is not an option. Yes, there are always some things you can do to make it an inside job. But why does it always have to be an inside job? Why is the individual gaslit into thinking it’s their own fault they feel jacked up all the time? 

One cynical explanation (sorry, I’m stressed) is that it’s like the recycling issue: Big Business funding ads designed to make the individual feel guilty about causing environmental destruction so that they forget to demand that BB also do their (more expensive) part. 

I don’t care how well the wellness sounds. If it makes you feel bad or anxious on any level, be skeptical. Look around at who is profiting from your angst. 

There are things you can do to reduce your stress. If you have it, use your PTO and maybe go to the Body Worlds exhibit, if that’s  the kind of thing that refills your bucket. If it isn’t, don’t blame yourself.  All of the bodies in the exhibit were posed in extreme action stances. None were sitting on the couch in front of the TV, relaxing in a LazyBoy, or lying down for a nap. Take a deep breath and if you still feel twitchy, know that it’s not all on you. There are mixed messages about overwork and stress, and it’s a systemic issue. Certain levels of stress are unavoidable, but a shift in cultural values would help all of us. There is no shame in getting enough sleep, abiding, or being excellent.